writing

Encounter

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Stupidity and Genius enter a coffee shop. Genius takes a moment to take in the different smells and noises, and to let all types of observable information sink in. Stupidity, on the other hand, jumps right into the middle of the coffee shop, winks at Halima, the waitress, and roars, “What up, biaaaaatch!” to everybody and to no one in particular at the same time.

Everybody in the coffee shop notices the frivolity of Stupidity without paying the slightest attention to Genius. Unobserved, Genius sits down and waits for Halima to notice him and take his order. In the meantime, Stupidity makes himself comfortable and yells at the guy behind the counter, “where’s my brew, dude?! Arrogance will be here at any moment, and I’d hate to leave with her before I get to enjoy my coffee.”

Two ladies enter. With a step ahead of her companion, the lady in flashy clothes throws a confused look at the place as if looking for someone in particular. Stupidity notices them. “Hey, hotties!” He screeches. “Oh, hey Stupidity! Thank God you’re still here. I was afraid you’d have already left.” She says at the top of her voice as she catwalks towards him. “Come on, Arrogance! You know you and I are meant for each other. I just can’t leave, or live, without you!” He points out. “Oh! I see Genius has taught you some of his stupid puns.” She remarks with a cringe. “Naaah, I just made that up. Genius and I haven’t really talked much lately. He’s over there, by the way.” “Argg! Gosh, I hate his guts! Can you believe he told me to move my car from the super market’s parking lot just because it had a sign of a disabled person? He said no one should park there except for disabled people. He behaved as if he owned the place! What a pain in the ass!” “Oh well, I guess we know him very well. He’ll never change. He thinks he’s smarter than everybody else, and that we owe him stuff. That’s why I could never befriend him. He doesn’t know to enjoy life! He’ll never be as cool as we are”

The other girl shrinks at the remark. Then, as if she needed to gather some courage, objects, “Ummm sorry, but I think he’s got a point.” Astonished, Stupidity looks at her then turns towards Arrogance, “I see you’ve got company. Who’s your friend?” He asks. “Oh, right! Please meet Common Sense. She’s an old friend from elementary school. I just bumped into her and I thought we could have a cup of coffee with you.” She answers as she motions to Halima to come. “Common Sense. Huh?! I like compound names. My favorite is ‘ass-hole!’ HAHA! HAHA! HAHA!” He continued his frantic laugh as he stood up and made his way through the tables and towards Genius. “Did you hear that, Genius? Did you hear my grand joke?”

Without taking his eyes off the morning paper, and with a tone close to how a bored dead man would sound, Genius answers, “Ah yeah, but technically ‘asshole’ is one word. And honestly, I haven’t known many people who have it as an OFFICIAL name.” And with a fainted voice adds, “But I can think of someone who deserves to have it.” “What was that?” Stupidity asks as he leans nearer. “Uh, nothing. I said have a great day, Stupidity!” Genius replies with a fake smile gently pushing Stupidity away and making space for himself to stand up. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get going.” He adds with the same fake smile.

In his way out, Genius takes a second to throw a look at the two ladies and salutes them with a gesture. Common Sense smiles and waves back, while Arrogance turns her head away in neglect, and keeps herself busy running her hand over her silky hair and puffing her cigarette’s smoke regardless of the complaints of the people in the next table. Common Sense stands up and excuses herself, too. Feeling that Common Sense was not enjoying her company, Arrogance looks at her in disgust, puffs her cigarette towards her and Common Sense turns her face and motions with her hand as if to stop the smoke that is invading her space. “I think you should quit.” She finally manages to suggest with a smile. “I think you should shut the fuck up!” Arrogance snarls. “You and Genius are the scum of society. Haven’t you realized how much trouble you have caused to everybody? Right people?” Everybody turns their faces away! Shocked, Common Sense finally takes a step away from Arrogance. She still bids her and Stupidity farewell in a hurry, and departs.

“I think she’s nice.” Stupidity declares. “Arrogance looks down at him with the same disgusted look she just offered Common Sense. “ I told you you were not supposed to think.” She answers in wrath. “Sorry dear, I just…” “You’re just too stupid to follow simple instructions, Stupidity!” She interrupts him. “Now hand me my bag and let’s follow them. I know they’ll go together, and we can’t allow them to stay together for long. They’ll definitely be up to something against us and we can’t allow it to happen.” She orders. “But I thought this was Nosiness’ business!” He protested. “CRACK!” Everyone in the coffee shop turns to the source of the sound. Stupidity holds his left cheek and moans in pain! “Why did you slap me, Arrogance?” He struggles to ask. “Because I wanted to, Stupidity. It’s not like you’d understand anywyas, so just deal with it!” She yelled and left.

Halima, with a grin as big as the door that saw Arrogance leave, comes with the addition to Stupidity. “Sir, my shift will end in a few minutes. Will you please pay me, now?” She asks without even trying to hide her amusement. “Oh, sure.” He grins back. “I like it when you smile at me.” He says. “And oh, nice boob job! Who’s your surgeon?” Halima rolls her eyes in frustration, turns away, raises her hands and announces; “Stupidity is alive and kicking, ladies and gentlemen!”